February Blues

It could be that it's February in Chicago and the depression rate hits an all time high this time of year--or it could be the fact that considering my career, or lack there of has made my life closely resemble an episode of "Girls". Lets just say, things aren't going as planned.

I moved to this city with big plans of finding my place in the spotlight. Hoping i'd be working in the entertainment industry, sipping cocktails with Chicago's finest-instead I've found myself working a 9-5, wearing a head-set (and I shutter to even say the words), at a call-center. This was at best supposed to be temporary. I had my one year anniversary last week.

The most troubling part about it, is that I don't see any hope of getting out. I've planned two May Vacations that I've paid for with my nearly maxed out credit cards and I have absolutely no job prospects that sound any more interesting than what I'm already doing.

I know I've been extremely bitter about it too. And that just isn't me. I'm not bitter Whitney, I'm happy for people Whitney. Except that lately, I haven't been.

It dawned on me that every single person I talked to last week was a complete inconvenience. Their prospering lives made me realize how pathetic mine was, and it pissed me off. But instead of letting it beat me down even further, like a Chumbawamba song, I might get knocked down--but I'll get up again.

Taking a second glance, I can't help but remember my quote in the 2006 edition of the Centennial High School year book that asked where I thought I saw myself in 10 years. My answer? 'Living in a high rise apartment in Chicago eating Chinese take-out with Geno." Maybe it wasn't really shooting for the stars, but I've still got 3 years to accomplish that and I think we all know, a lot can happen in 3 years.